Cruel to Myself

I woke up this morning at 5.30 p.m. I have nothing to do except to open my computer and surfing Internet.

While watching a Friday sermon video delivered by Sheikh Abdur Rahman As-Sudais from Sacred Mosque, came across an idea in my head.

To solve my personal problems, I decided to wrote a letter to 'her', confessing my true feeling to her. Then, without wasting more time, I wrote the letter.

After finished writing the letter, I did not make my decision too early. I consulted an online counselor (which were also 'her' friend) to ask her advice about my decision. However, she advised me that it is better if I do not write the letter. The reason: writing in letter is not sincere.

She also gave me two choices: either to see her face to face or to forget about her.

I do not want to see her face to face because it's embarrassing me (well, actually, I will feel shy if I see unknown girl face to face), but I cannot forget about her.

When I rethink deeply, I finally achieved the conclusion.

There is no other choice. I have to forget about her.

The reason: If I see her face to face, there is a possibility that someone see us and then spreading stupid gossip, which can make us uncomfortable.

I know this decision looks like to kill me, but I have no choice.

I really hope that this is the fifth and the last time I have a crush on a girl.