Kucing, Saya dan dot dot dot

Saya masih hairan mengenai kucing-kucing milik salah seorang jiran saya. (Perlu diingat, tempat saya tinggal sekarang ini ialah Kuching!)

Setiap kali saya keluar, ketika saya menuju ke lif, kucing-kucing itu akan memandang saya dengan pandangan yang semacam, seolah-olah saya akan menyeksa mereka atau membuli mereka.

Apabila saya semakin hampit dengan lif, mereka akan berlari masuk ke dalam rumah tuan mereka, sedangkan saya tak pun ganggu mereka. Pelik, bukan?

Kadang-kadang, saya cuba dekati mereka (tapi saya tak ganggu kucing-kucing itu). Malangnya, mereka kelihatan sangat takut dengan manusia yang bercermin mata dan kurus kering seperti lidi.

Barangkali ada benarnya hipotesis yang pernah saya simpulkan suatu ketika dahulu mengenai kucing dan anjing. Hipotesis itu berbunyi:

Kucing/anjing yang jinak tidak akan mudah mesra dengan orang yang tidak dikenalinya melainkan tuannya atau ahli keluarganya sahaja. Namun, bagi kucing yang liar, ia lebih mudah mesra dengan orang lain, tetapi bagi anjing liar, ia takut kepada manusia,

Huh, kucing, kucing ...

 

 

Abdul Hakim Lukhman Al-Yusufi

Bunch of Problems, Reaching Its Climax (IV)

This is the fourth sequel of my serious inner problem. It is up to you all, whether you want to give your advice, or just be the reader.

Something Wrong ...
Since my mum pregnant again (for my future brother/sister), I observed something wrong in this situation, and these made me feel worry.

First, she was ordered to stayed at the ward for high blood pressure. Alhamdulillah, all praise to God, she was allowed to go out after a day. But, that's not the end.

Second, she had bad cough, and she had difficulty to throw out the phlegm from her throat. And this became worse, when she seemed to be choked by the phlegm. Until my dad had to hit her back a few times before she was okay again.

Now, she was not able to sleep, neither in air-conditioning room nor under the running fan.

To make my situation worst, my dad will be going outstation to Sarikei and Sibu for court case for a week. And I have to take care of my mum. when she sleep Thus, I have to postponed some of the planned activity, including leading the Subuh prayer.

I know, God want to test me, but why must make my mum suffer...? I don't care if He want to test in any ways, but not using my family and relatives.

Arghh...

After 7 Months and 23 Days
It has been 7 months and 23 days since my family moved to Kuching and I started new school life at SJS. And the time passed in a really fast speed.

I bet most of my friends at Sarikei forgotten about a man named Lukhman. Well, it's a bit painful truth to me, but I have no choice except to accept it. When they come to Kuching, not even one of them neither want to meet me, nor (at least) informing me.

Well, I'm not talking about the entire friends. I just said most of them. (this sounds sulky. =.=) But, I have to be grateful because I moved to Kuching. Here, one important lesson I learnt is about a true friend.

Well, I meet different people in different situation. And they have different, unique interest and ability.

For example, I'm very envious to Roland, for such a young age, he managed to get diploma in music recital. This makes me even more spirited to find a teacher to teach me about Arabic caligraphy and then get my degree from the teacher.

I also very envious to Kelvin Ting, for a Malaysian like him have the most fluent English among us (from my view). I'm very grateful, because I can learn more about word usage in English from him. One of them is the usage of the word crap. =.=

Well, these examples I can't find at Sarikei.

But, again, it is very painful for a sensitive person (like me) for some of his friends forgotten about him after a long period of time, even though he always remember his friends.

Well, this worldly life is really like a mirage.

This is the only gift I received from a friend of mine. Well, fortunately she did not forgotten me.

Composed by,

Abdul Hakim Lukhman Al-Yusufi

Muslim Nowadays

Believe me, I'm not forcing the non-Muslim reader to embrace Islam. I just want to talk about current issues nowadays in the different situation.

Before Asar prayer, a man from Bahagian Agama dan Kaunseling (known as BAKA) placed some notice at the surau's noticeboard. The notices were about the name of appointed imam and bilal for Zuhur and Asar prayer. To my shock, the date for that duty was started last month.

Today, there was nobody came for the duty. Even the imam and bilal did not come. Only the normal people (for instance, me) came early to the surau. I and the other people waited for the bilal to come, but after two minutes from the actual time, the bilal who was supposed to be on duty today did not come. Under the name of responsibility, I took the job as bilal, giving the azan for Zuhur prayer (but not as imam).

And the same thing went for the Asar prayer. Imagine that.

If no one (in the list of appointed imam and bilal) come, then what for they put the notice? Really baka. (Baka in Japanese means idiot, stupid)

Why don't they appoint more imam and bilal for Maghrib, Isyak and Subuh prayer? Then, I and Uncle Rasyid can relax from being bilal and imam.

Muslim nowadays. Seldom to find a real Muslim. =.=

* * *

Before maghrib this evening, a few people from BAKA came. I thought they will be going to lead the prayers. To my disappointment, they came just want to took quite a number of Surah Yaasin books. They took it because there's a religious ceremony at Kota Sentosa.

While taking the books, Uncle Rasyid complained, "The new one they go, the old one they leave it."

I replied, "Just like human. They leave the old, ugly wife, then find the new, beautiful girl."

Uncle Rasyid laughed. He agreed.

* * *

After the Maghrib prayer, I and the other people who came to the surau talking about things that happening around us. Talk about the behaviour most of Muslim policemen leaving the old surau, pig farm, donating blood, and rugby. =.=

Talk about donating blood. I really sad when I hear some of us said that some of the policemen does not want the donated blood to be donated to the non-Muslim. Really rascist. Really orthodox, short-minded people.

That's just about donating blood. The worst thing is some of the policemen did not want his sub-ordinates' work time to be disturbed with the prayer time. If the people who said that is non-Muslim, I understand. But, these word are said by a Muslim.

Really, Muslim nowadays. No wonder, most the non-Muslim cannot understand Islam, even after 51 years of independence.


Written by,

Abdul Hakim Lukhman Al-Yusufi

Di Sebalik Setiap Sajak

Di dalam dunia ni, setiap yang berlaku pasti ada sebab dan akibat. Itulah yang terkandung dalam hukum karma. Begitulah juga dengan setiap sajak yang saya karang. Hanya saya belum lihat akibatnya sahaja. Saya rasa ada yang tidak mengetahui sejarah di sebalik puisi/sajak yang karang. Di sini saya hendak perturunkan sedikit sebanyak sejarah bagi beberapa sajak yang saya rasa penting.

Sejarah Sajak Sentiasa
Percaya atau tidak, sajak ini terbina setelah membaca sajak karangan Mufti Perlis (yang bakal bersara akhir bulan ini). Sajaknya yang berjudul Yang Benar Tetap Benar sedikit sebanyak memberi kesan kepada saya. Saya rasa sajak inilah yang telah memabawa perubahan yang ketara kepada ideologi pemikiran saya.

Lalu, saya nukilkan segala ideologi dan pendirian saya yang telah berubah sama sekali. Boleh dikatakan, puisi ini sebenarnya ditujukan kepada Dr. Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin merangkap Mufti Kerajaan Negeri Perlis.

Sajak Ujian, Cabaran, Dugaan : Kisah di Sebaliknya
Sebenarnya, sajak ini ditulis atas dua kisah:

1. Sajak ini mula ditulis semasa saya menunggu keputusan peperiksaan saya yang pertama setelah melangkah ke tahap menengah tinggi. Ketika itu, kebanyakan kertas telah saya perolehi markahnya, sehingga membuatkan saya berasa gelisah tetapi ghairah untuk mengetahui keputusan peperiksaan saya.
2. Pada masa yang sama, masih hangat di dalam kelas saya (di SAS, bukan di SJS) gosip antara saya dengan seorang gadis Cina (bagi yang belum tahu cerita ni, biarlah ia menjadi rahsia antara saya, dia dan Allah). Tetapi, sebenarnya memang saya ada menaruh perasaan padanya. Dia ni, kelihatan seperti tidak menyedari akan kebenaran gosip itu, hingga menyebabkan saya rasa terseksa menunggu respon daripadanya. Dari situlah, keinginan saya untuk mengarang sajak ini semakin kuat.

Peristiwa di Sebalik Seloka Kelas 4A
Anda boleh membaca Seloka Kelas 4A di sini.

Di sebalik seloka ini, berlaku sebuah peristiwa / kisah benar yang telah menggegarkan kelas saya. Peristiwa ini berlaku dalam bulan September, di mana seluruh pelajar SJS menduduki Ujian Ke-3 bulan September 2008. Bagi persepsi orang ramai, kelas A pastinya bersih daripada sebarang kes meniru atau menipu. Namun hakikatnya, bagi kelas saya, Tingkatan 4A, ianya indah khabar daripada rupa.

Yang pasti, kes meniru berlaku dalam Ujian Sejarah dan Ujian Bahasa Melayu. Malah, rakan saya sendiri yang duduk di sebelah saya ketika Ujian Sejarah dengan rahsia membuka buku teks Sejarah. Tentang percubaan meniru ketika Ujian Bahasa Melayu, saya hanya mengetahui tentangnya apabila seorang pelajar memberitahu kepada Puan Halipah secara rahsia. Malangnya, ada pelajar yang menuduh bahawa sayalah yang memberitahu Puan Halipah tentang hal tersebut.

Puan Rauzan guru Sejarah kelas kami sebenarnya mengetahui mengenai hal itu, namun dia tidak berdaya memarahi kami disebabkan beliau masih mengandung anaknya yang sulung ketika itu. Namun, bagi Puan Halipah, hal itu merupakan suatu kesalahan yang serius. Masa 35 minit kelas BM dihabiskan dengan menegur perbuatan mereka yang meniru.

Tersentak dengan teguran keras Puan Halipah, saya menjadi kesal bercampur baur marah dan tak puas hati. Dari situ, terbinalah Seloka Kelas 4A yang kini tersiar dalam antologi Lambaian Teluk (diterbitkan bulan ini) terbitan Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka.

* * *

Begitulah sedikit sebanyak proses mengarang setiap sajak nukilan saya (sama ada yang tersiar mahupun tidak).


Nukilan,

Abdul Hakim Lukhman Al-Yusufi

Good News and Bad News

At the moment I write the title of today's entry, I was wondering, which one should I share with you all first: good news or bad news? Then, I decided to wrote about bad news first, although it came after good news actually.

Bad News
My mum went to clinic as usual today. Well, she's now pregnant for my future-younger-brother/sister. However, she did not come home at the afternoon. Only my dad came back at 1 o'clock, then went to the clinic again at 2.

At 3 o'clock, he came back and told me, my mum was placed in ward for high blood pressure.

O.O

Decided to follow my dad, we went to Sarawak General Hospital, which are located near our home. At there, she was sent to Maternity Ward II. And she will stay there until her blood pressure is back to normal.

I was praying for her health (although she always lecturing me and give me harsh words). :P

Good News
This is the courtesy of yesterday's entry. No complains here, for sure.

After taking short nap at the afternoon, I woke up at 4 p.m. I opened my computer to upload my calligraphy signature (as you can see at the end of every entry, starting yesterday). I was told by one of my online friends, who also a young author (just like me) and a big fan of Ramlee Awang Murshid (:D), Nurfatihah Athirah about a good news to me (below are the translation of our conversation yesterday):

Nurfatihah Athirah: Assalamualaikum...
Abdul Hakim Lukhman: Walaikumussalam...
Nurfatihah Athirah: Just now I'm online, but you didn't... hehehehe...
Nurfatihah Athirah: Emm... I want to tell you that...
Abdul Hakim Lukhman: Yea?
Nurfatihah Athirah: About your poems... they now published in the anthology Lambaian Teluk
Abdul Hakim Lukhman: Ohhh...
Abdul Hakim Lukhman: Really...?
Abdul Hakim Lukhman: All praise to God...
Nurfatihah Athirah: My mum and I already tried to talk with the Sarawakian authors from PERKASA to send tyhe anthology book with the bags for the present participants (there's still more bags, it's a coincidence)
Nurfatihah Athirah: But, maybe they haven't arrived back yet.. I'm not sure when they arrived at Kuching..
Nurfatihah Athirah: So, try to contact Cikgu Zaidie...

And that's did not end there.

This morning, I visit some of updated blogs, including her blog. To my surprise, she wrote this:

Sekali yang terbit, hanya karya kami penulis Labuan dan juga satu karya dari seorang penulis di Sarawak. Itupun dihantar melalui penulis Labuan.

(The Sarawakian author mentioned in her blog is me. I send my poems via her.)

And this:

Cikgu Awang Asim cakap juga terdapat karya dari seorang penulis Sarawak dalam antologi tu. (karyanya pertama ditulis dalam antologi, kemudian barulah diikuti oleh karya-karya dari penulis-penulis Labuan). Ini disebabkan Nama dia lagi yang pertama muncul dalam antologi tu penyusunan karya itu mengikut huruf ejaan nama penulis. Dan huruf namanya dimulakan dengan huruf 'AB'. Senang cari di mana karya sendiri tu. Hehehe... (sempat lagi mengatil???)

(This is because, I used the pseudonym Abdul Hakim Lukhman Al-Yusufi, so of course my poems appear first)

And this:

Hmm... aku dan ibu sempat berurusan dengan orang Sarawak untuk menghantar barang-barang - yang utama ilah antologi Lambaian Teluk tu - kepada penulis Sarawak yang karyanya termasuk dalam antologi tu - Abdul Hakim Lukhman al-Yusufi.

Kata ibu, kena beri perhatianlah Lukhman tu nanti. Sebab dia penulis yang tak disangka-sangka dari Sarawak tu boleh pulak masuk karyanya di dalam antologi yang semua karya dari Labuan saja tu. Tambahan pula dia merupakan penulis muda.

Insya-Allah dia akan diberi perhatian. Orang yang kami berurusan tu pulak ialah orang GAPENA, Cikgu Zaidie (PERKASA pun sebenarnya, tapi, ada perantaraan - kira ada orang tengah lah dari kami kepada wakil PERKASA). Yang teratas sekali. Boleh dikatakan ketua kepada bahagian-bahagian persatuan penulis. Yang turut membantu tu pun ialah penulis dari Miri, Sarawak tu. Iaitu JAYA RAMBA.

What the...? =.=

Now, I'm on the way getting my copy of Lambaian Teluk and the articles during the Dialog Teluk VI.


Written by,

Abdul Hakim Lukhman Al-Yusufi

Nikmat, Diskriminasi dan dot dot dot

Semenjak saya menulis entri ini, masih tersemat di dalam hati dan ingatan saya perlakuan Editor BM Sidang Redaksi Majalah The Anthonian terhadap karya saya. Begitu tergamak guru penasihat dan editor bahagian BM (yang merupakan sahabat dan rakan sekelas saya sendiri suatu ketika dahulu) tidak menyiarkan karya saya, malah editor dan sahabat karibnya sendiri menyiarkan karya mereka di antara karya-karya yang terpilih.

Sedangkan, saya telah menghantar dua sajak utama saya, Sentiasa dan Ujian, Cabaran, Dugaan kepada editor itu sendiri sebelum saya berpindah ke Kuching. Saya juga telah menghantar cerpen BI saya kepada editor BI (yang juga merupakan sahabat dan rakan sekelas saya tahun ini di SAS). Namun, saya diberitahu oleh Ahmad Faiz bahawa ada kemungkinan cerpen itu tidak dapat disiarkan kerana ruangan yang terhad.

Kalau mengenai cerpen saya yang tidak tersiar itu, tidak mengapalah, saya pun faham. Namun, yang membuatkan saya bingung, celaru, sedih, dan berkecamuk hati ialah sajak-sajak saya yang tidak disiarkan. Malah, ada di antara karya-karya yang tersiar di dalam majalah The Anthonian itu hasil nukilan editor itu sendiri. Mana ada editor yang menyiarkan karyanya sendiri. Sungguh menyanggahi logik akal. Sungguh aneh. Sungguh absurd.

Semenjak saya memasuki SAS, saya mula tidak senang dengan perkara sebegini. Pelajar yang dilantik menjadi editor menyalahgunakan kedudukan mereka untuk kepentingan diri sendiri. Itu baru jadi editor, belum lagi bercakap fasal ketua tingkatan dan pengawas di SAS. Kalau diikutkan, memang saya suarakan ketidakpuasan hati saya ketika itu. Namun, apa yang membimbangkan saya ialah tentangan daripada banyak pihak, termasuk rakan saya sendiri.

Saya mula merasakan hal ini bukan setakat itu sahaja. Saya mula mengesyaki, wujudnya diskriminasi terhadap saya, yang diketuai oleh 'pihak' yang berpengaruh (besar kemungkinan, guru).

Apa nak jadi, sana salahguna kuasa, sini salahguna kuasa. Dari perkara yang besar sampai ke perkara yang kecil, ada saja penyalahgunaan kuasa. Hish... nak kiamat agaknya dunia ni.

(Memang nak kiamat pun.)

Namun, perkara sebegitu tidak berlaku di SJS. Selepas saya berpindah ke Kuching dan memulakan pengajian saya di SJS, saya telah menghantar sebuah cerpen dan dua sajak yang sama (yang telah saya hantar kepada Editor BM Majalah The Anthonian). Dan pada bulan September yang lalu pula, rakan online saya telah mempelawa saya untuk menghantarkan sajak nukilan saya kepada pihak DBP untuk dibukukan dalam antologi Lambaian Teluk sempena Dialog Teluk VI di Labuan. Untuk itu, saya sekali lagi menghantar sajak-sajak yang sama.

Comment Nurfatihah Athirah kepada saya pada September yang lalu

Dan hasilnya: kesemua karya saya yang telah dihantar disiarkan. Cerpen Letupan dan dua sajak yang saya sebutkan tadi tersiar dalam majalah Ad Astra Volume 48 untuk tahun ini. Dan apa yang saya perhatikan, Editor dan Penolongnya - BM dan BI - tidak pula menggunakan kedudukan mereka sebagai editor untuk menyiarkan karya mereka. Malah, mereka lebih adil dalam memilih. Editor bagi BM pernah meminta kepada saya agar cerpen saya disunting bagi menjimatkan ruang. Saya dengan mudah bersetuju, kerana saya percaya pada keadilan dan amanah mereka.

Dan hari ini pula, saya menerima berita yang tidak disangka-sangka selepas bangun daripada tidur petang hari ini. Nurfatihah Athirah memberitahu bahawa sajak-sajak yang saya hantar (melalui Labuan) disiarkan dalam antologi Lambaian Teluk.

Petikan perbualan antara saya dan Athirah hari ini. Klik pada imej untuk melihat dengan lebih jelas

Apabila saya diberitahu akan hal tersebut, saya merasakan seolah-olah hujan turun melimpah sekali lagi (kerana semasa saya bangun daripada tidur petang, hujan turun sebentar). Ahh, betapa tingginya nilai nikmat yang Allah kurniakan hari ini kepada saya. Dan saya pula selalu melupakan-Nya. Namun, Dia tetap mengurniakan nikmat demi nikmat kepada hamba-Nya yang bacul seperti saya.

Namun begitu, saat-saat 'diskriminasi' yang dilakukan oleh Sidang Redaksi The Anthonian kepada saya begitu sukar untuk saya lupakan. Hanya Allah saja yang mampu membalas. Saya sudah cukup penat dengan hal-hal seperti ini. Saya hanya serahkan hal ini kepada Allah. Kalau Allah maafkan, maka saya maafkan. Tetapi kalau sebaliknya, saya pun begitu juga.

Nota: Kalau anda merupakan Editor BM atau BI The Anthonian yang saya sebutkan di sini, kalau terasa tu, rasalah. Memang itu hakikat yang berlaku. Dan bagi Editor Ad Astra, kalau terasa saya puji tu, terimalah pujian saya ni.


Al-Faqir Al-Haqir ila Rahmat Allah,

Abdul Hakim Lukhman Al-Yusufi

Saya Baru Menyedari...

Entri hari ini saya ingin menulis dalam bahasa Melayu. Sudah lama saya tidak berbuat demikian. Selalunya saya menulis entri-entri saya di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Sudah tiga hari saya tidak menulis apa-apa di blog ini. Jumaat lepas saya terpaksa reformat komputer saya sebelum kedatangan abang saya pertengahan bulan hadapan (kalau dia guna komputer ini, memang saya tidak pernah difikirkan. Bagus lagi kalau dia tak datang ke sini). Dan semalam saya menginstall beberapa program di komputer saya ini.

Sepanjang computer reformatting, saya tidak melayari internet. Namun, saya tidak sedar, saya teringin sangat untuk melihat wajahnya.

Astaghfirullah, adakah ini bermakna saya 'jatuh cinta' buat kali keenam?

Arghh....

Nota: penggunaan tanda bacaan '...' adalah disengajakan...

Another School Magazine

If I am not mistaken, around 11.25 am, a postman came to my house while I was busy composing new short story. The postman brought a parcel, which are sent to me, Lukhman bin Abdul Taib. At first, I was surprised and wondering who is the person who sent me that parcel. But then, I quickly remembered that my old best friend was going to send a copy of school magazine to me.

I think I should delete the letter 'h' in my name, since they (not my friend Ahmad Faiz) misspell my name

And this is the cover for this year's The Anthonian magazine.

I was quite surprised with the design for the cover. And the thing that make me even more surprised, I did not expect that the deginer will put the pictures of PMR 2007 8A's students as the decoration for the cover.

The pictures of PMR 2007 8A's candidates - well, it's blur, I know.

Notice the red circle? It's me actually. Well, it's just half of my face, since the other half was covered by Li Mei Yih's head. =.=

Is it just she growing taller or is it me who try to avoid 'something' or being amused?

List of the 'cemerlang' students. Just find a man with songkok on his head, and that's me.

At least, I appeared twice in that school magazine, once in the list of top PMR students, and once at the cover.

Unfortunately, my English short story and two Malay poems that I sent to the editors were not published. Instead, they published other students', including the editors'. =.=

I wonder how Cikgu F***** (as the teacher-in-charge for BM column) and the editor chose the poems? I already sent my poems earlier before I transferred.

I wonder, is this we called fair and square? Or discrimination?

Producing First Masterpiece Process (1)

My first going-to-be masterpiece is the calligraphy of Surah at-Taubah Verses 128 - 129. I started the process from last Monday, and now it's 50% finished for calligraphy part. (Well, maybe after I finished all my masterpieces, I will do the decorations).

These are the progress for today:

Kelajuan Masa

Kelajuan masa? Siapa yang boleh kirakan kelajuan masa dengan begitu terperinci? Sesungguhnya ini merupakan kerja yang sia-sia.

Hari Kedua Terakhir Persekolahan

Tinggal sehari lagi untuk berada di St. Joseph. Sememangnya keadaannya tidak begitu ketara perbezaannya berbanding di St. Anthony.

Hari ini, semua kerja-kerja pengurusan kelas dilaksanakan oleh saya sendirian. Menyusun meja kerusi, mengambil kedatangan; semuanya saya lakukan bersendirian. Penolong saya sudah pun 'bercuti' awal atas sebab-sebab tertentu. Tak mengapalah, alang-alang sahaja musim persekolahan akan berakhir.

Usai lagu Ibu Pertiwiku dinyanyikan, keadaan kelas kembali hingar bingar seperti pasar (tapi tidaklah terlalu bising). Kegawatan keadaan itu (sebenarnya tidaklah begitu gawat) menjadi reda buat seketika semasa kedatangan Pn. Sii ke kelas kami. Beliau telah memanggil beberapa nama, termasuklah nama saya. :0

Di luar kelas 4A, kami diberitahu oleh Pn. Sii bahawa ada di antara kami akan menerima anugerah ketua tingkatan, Program NILAM, dan Bintang Murid Terpuji (memandangkan saya telah menerima anugerah yang sama, maka saya rasakan tentu ada sebab pihak penilai tidak memilih nama saya buat kali kedua). Namun, yang membuatkan saya begitu hairan hingga tahap 'hairan bin ajaib' ialah saya mendapat tempat kedua dalam Program NILAM, sedangkan saya baru sahaja berpindah ke SJS dan hanya berkesempatan menulis review untuk beberapa buah buku.

Di dalam kelas, semua pelajar mempunyai aktiviti masing-masing. Ada yang bermain catur, ada yang membaca majalah dan komik, ada yang baru mempelajari cara bermain gitar (semoga berjaya, Roland dan Daryl!), dan tidak kurang juga ada yang bermain permainan komputer Counter-Strike!

Saya berkesempatan bermain catur. Lawan saya ialah Allistair Adam, pengerusi Kelab Lanskap SJS. Dua pertarungan kami sertai. Pertarungan pertama saya segera menyerah kalah sebelum buah catur king saya dicheckmate. Pertarungan kedua pula saya berjaya mengalahkan Adam. Rahsianya ialah dengan membunuh buah-buah catur yang dianggap berkuasa seperti Queen, Bishop, Knight dan Castle. Kali pertama saya berjaya mengalahkan lawan saya.

Saya (seperti biasa) tidak tahu apa yang harus saya lakukan. Memandangkan saya jenis yang tidak boleh duduk diam (kalau bosan), maka saya hari ini kerap berulang alik dari bilik guru ke kelas. Melecet kaki saya dibuatnya.

Bermacam-macam perkara yang saya lakukan. Daripada menulis khat, mempelajari cara bermain gitar, kemudian bermain catur, selepas itu berjalan ke sana ke mari, dan akhirnya membaca komik, masih terasa kebosanan dalam diri saya. Mungkin saya patut bawa manuskrip cerpen saya dan siapkannya di kelas hari ini.

Tinggal beberapa jam lagi, dan bermulalah sekali lagi saat yang membosankan dalam hidup saya....

CUTI PERSEKOLAHAN!

The Visit to State Library

Sometimes we ask: "How should I face this problems?". The answers from Quran is:

1. "O you who believe! Endure and be more patient (than your enemy), and guard your territory by stationing army units permanently at the places from where the enemy can attack you, and fear Allah, so that you may be successful." [Surah Aal-Imran, 3 : Verse 200]
2. "And seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer) and truly it is extremely heavy and hard except for Al-Khashioon (i.e. the true believers in Allah - those who obey Allah with full submission)." [Surah al-Baqarah, 2 : Verse 45]

Receiving Exams Paper (II)

The first and the only paper I received for today was Biology. Yea, as I expected, it is out of my expectation - failed to achieve the target. Instead, I was failed. 47%. That's already considered failed for 4A class in SJS.


The marks really affected my emotion, make the condition worse (due to my decision last Saturday and what happen yesterday). Sometimes, I put the blame on the subjects, saying: "Now, I hate Bio."

But, I know it is wrong, because Biology did not do nothing wrong to me. It is my fault: whether my memory for Bio is not strong enough or I did not understand Biology at all.

I knew Hjh. Rosni was very angry, because there were still had some students who failed for this paper. But she did not show it nor express it.

As usual, Mdm. Liew did not give our Add Maths papers for today. Instead, she checked our works, and to my surprise, she put my name in the list of the lazy people. It was not because I'm lazy, but I could not solve the last question for yesterday's exercise. Then, she continued to teach about, today about Differentiation.

I'm very hate people who want to show off, showing that they can solve the hard question or being the fastest to solve the question. They kept saying the answers when the other people still calculating the answers. Very irritating.

I knowlah, you are smart and I am stupid. Stop it.

During recess, I asked Mdm. Liew (on our way to staff room) about what she gonna to do with the list. She said that she will give merits to the hardworking students who do their works. I really objected her suggestion. Instead, I suggest to her to give demerits to those who did not finished the work (including me). Because, we do not know, whether all the hardworking people really do their work or some of them just copying the answers from their friends before Mdm. Liew entered the class. And that's will be unfair if she give merits to them.

So, I let myself, received demerits from my class teacher. For the sake of the truth.

A Visit to History Exhibition at Pustaka Negeri

Our class were lucky enough to have Mr. Yahya as our History teacher.

Last time, me, Qamarul, Christ Andra and Allistair Adam were chosen to be the school participants for Seminar 45 Tahun Sarawak Maju Dalam Malaysia at Dewan Baruk, Pusat Penerangan Islam this coming Saturday.

And today, our class were chosen to represent St. Joseph to a history exhibition at Pustaka Negeri.

On the way to Pustaka Negeri, some of us make noise, joking around here and there in the school bus. I could not help to laugh and let them, since this is the only time for us to relax, going outside the school for a trip.

At there, we were being given a brief explanation about this exhibition from the representatives from Arkib Negara Malaysia Cawangan Sarawak. As our souvenir, we received a pamphlet, a bookmark and a postcard.

We were also received a quiz question about history. Unfortunately, I did not receive any prizes, even though all my answers were correct.

So we have a look at the exhibition. Some of us wrote the important information in our books (including me). I prefer wrote in Jawi scripts, and it becomes a 'tabiat' to me. When Mr. Yahya asking the reason, I replied: "So that the people that cannot read Jawi scripts cannot read my personal things, if I have inside my books/diary."

After a while, some of us went to elsewhere. Kelvin Ting bought three novels from the bookstore inside the library.

Half an hour before we went back, we have lunch at the cafeteria at the library. Mr. Yahya treated me and our school bus driver drinks. I drank milk, Mr. Yahya ice lemon tea, and coffee for the driver. While the others have their own menu. We three had a chat for a while.

Mr. Yahya also kindly gave me a RM5 note (from the change he received) for my treat to buy wafers for my friends. Thanks, Mr. Yahya!

On 12.18 p.m, the 4A class students from SJS officially went back to the school. When we arrived, it was five minutes before the last bell rang.

The Unstable Emotion

Sometimes we ask: "Why I feel frustrated?". Quran answered: "So lose not heart, Nor fall into despair: For ye must gain mastery If ye are true in Faith." (Surah Aal-Imran, 3 : Verse 139)

Sending Message

Yesterday night, before the azan for Isyak prayer, I sent a message to Azlan, Nadzmi, Qamarul and Amir Hakim. The message is:

Wahai manusia yang berakal, esok kita akan menghadapi fasa kedua peperangan yang besar ini. Persiapkanlah mentalmu, kerana fasa kali ini lebih berat dan menyeksakan. Ingatlah akan janji Allah bagi mereka yang bersabar...

Translation: O men of understanding, tomorrow we will face the second phase of this big war. Please preapre your mental, because this phase is heavier and more unbearable. Remember what have God promised to those who are being patient...

Then I got the reply from three of them.

Amir: Perjuangan menyiapkan nota Fizik (The struggle finishing Physics note)
Azlan and Nadzmi: Peperangan apa? (What war?)

Oh, you still could not get what I mean?

Receiving Exams Papers (I)

Since these last four weeks (including the previous two weeks) is the exam season, so it is a natural to receive our exam papers back. The first exam paper I received was Chemistry, with the marks of 71% (3B). Out of my expectation, achieving my target.

The second paper was Physics, but I have unclear information about my marks, since I claimed a few marks, and Mr. Chong have not added our notes marks. So I left it unclear. However, I got 71/105 for Paper 1 and Paper 2, and 19/28 for Paper 3.

The third paper I received was Islamic Studies, with marks of 94% A1 (91% for Paper 1, 97% for Paper 2). I lose to Amir Hakim, with our difference in marks was just 1%. Nearly beating Amir.

Since I did not sitting for First Examination, so I was disqualified from receving awards for Islamic Studies. Instead, Amir Hakim received that. Congrats.

Well, I have more interest to Al-Quran and As-Sunnah Studies rather than other parts in Islamic Studies. That's why my marks for Paper 2 (Al-Quran and As-Sunnah Studies) is higher than Paper 1 (Faith, Practice, History and Manner Studies).

Then, I received 26/30 for EST Paper 2 and 50/65 for English Paper 2.

Cruel to Myself, Resulting the Unstable, Emotional Emotion

Last Saturday, I had made a very cruel decision, that may looks killing me slowly and slowly. (Refer here)

Today, it really affected my emotion.

In the surau, before performing Zuhur prayer, I became very mad. Why? Because Nadzmi invited Alif Azni to come to my house tomorrow. I did not ask for it, and he terhegeh-hegeh did it, just like treating my house as his.

But, I could not control my emotion. I became very mad and very angry - the 'angriest' moment I had ever felt in my life.

Then, I asked Azlan Nuraqmal as the imam for that prayer, considering my unstable emotion. But, my emotion still at the unstable rate after Zuhur prayer. So, I perform optional prayer after Zuhur prayer, asking from God to guide me.

In the last prostrate in the prayer, I cried as I could, begging from God to guide me. I really could not bear the test. At that time, I thought, the decision I had made really killing me and hurting my feelings.

After the prayer, I washed my face, since I cried too much. To my surprise, I felt the hurting feeling began to fade and fade, but still leaving the traces in my heart.

Thanks, God! All praise is for You!

Banyak Sangat Kebetulan

Hari ini, ayah saya telah membawa saya dan ahli keluarga yang lain keluar berjalan-jalan hari ini. Tetapi sebenarnya, kami keluar pun kerana hendak membeli barang keperluan dapur untuk bulan hadapan. Jadi, nak tak nak, saya terpaksa ikut, kerana saya turut mempunyai sesuatu untuk dibeli.

Di The Spring, saya begitu teruja, berkobar-kobar dan tidak sabar untuk membeli buku yang telah lama saya ingini untuk membelinya (sebagai seorang yang meminati bidang penulisan kreatif). Saya mempersembahkan, buku panduan penulisan kreatif: Karya Nan Indah oleh Faisal Tehrani.

Karya Nan Indah oleh Faisal Tehrani

Harga buku ini bernilai RM29.00. Amat berbaloi membelinya bagi mereka yang berminat dalam bidang penulisan kreatif.

Asalnya, saya bercadang untuk membeli sebuah novel, juga karangan Faisal Tehrani, yang berjudul Advencer Si Peniup Ney. Novel ini mengisahkan seorang manusia yang telah dipilih oleh 40 jin untuk merubah suasana dan gaya hidup hedonisme di sebuah negeri jin bernama Fantasia. Di sana, Sulaiman Hilmi mengubah negeri tersebut dengan memperkenalkan genre souti sarmad. Keunggulannya menyebabkan pemerintah negeri tersebut memintanya untuk mengajar muzik kepada puterinya yang jelita. Namun, tanpa sebab yang pasti, Sulaiman telah dipenjara (berdasarkan sinopsis ringkas yang saya baca).

Di Boulevard pula, saya dan keluarga menikmati makan tengah hari di KFC sebelum berpisah. Ibu bapa saya menuju ke pasar raya untuk membeli barang dapur, manakala saya menuju ke Popular Bookstore.

Di Popular pula, saya bertemu dengan Pn. Rauzan, guru Sejarah kelas saya yang sedang cuti bersalin, sedang meneliti novel-novel terbaru sambil mengendong anaknya. Saya menghabiskan masa saya di Popular, membaca komik-komik Detektif Conan yang telah saya baca di Internet sebelum ini. Sungguh membosankan, tetapi masih dapat tergelak membaca bahagian-bahagian lucu dalam komik itu.

Hampir pukul 4.00, ayah saya menelefon, menyuruh saya pergi ke pasar raya. Di situ, saya disuruh pergi menuju ke tempat ibu saya. Namun, saya tidak tahu di mana ibu saya berada, memandangkan nombor-nombor kaunter diletak di dalam pasar raya, sehingga sukar untuk mencari ibu saya dari luar. Saya terpaksa masuk ke dalam pasar raya dan mencari mereka.

Di pasar raya Boulevard, saya bertemu pula dengan Athina Klaywa Sim, senior di sekolah saya dari kelas Tingkatan 6 Atas D. Dia bekerja part-time di situ. Banyak sangat kebetulan hari ini.

Di rumah pula, saya merenung kembali perpustakaan di dalam bilik saya, yang semakin kekurangan ruang.

Perpustakaan saya: koleksi buku yang saya miliki

Cruel to Myself

I woke up this morning at 5.30 p.m. I have nothing to do except to open my computer and surfing Internet.

While watching a Friday sermon video delivered by Sheikh Abdur Rahman As-Sudais from Sacred Mosque, came across an idea in my head.

To solve my personal problems, I decided to wrote a letter to 'her', confessing my true feeling to her. Then, without wasting more time, I wrote the letter.

After finished writing the letter, I did not make my decision too early. I consulted an online counselor (which were also 'her' friend) to ask her advice about my decision. However, she advised me that it is better if I do not write the letter. The reason: writing in letter is not sincere.

She also gave me two choices: either to see her face to face or to forget about her.

I do not want to see her face to face because it's embarrassing me (well, actually, I will feel shy if I see unknown girl face to face), but I cannot forget about her.

When I rethink deeply, I finally achieved the conclusion.

There is no other choice. I have to forget about her.

The reason: If I see her face to face, there is a possibility that someone see us and then spreading stupid gossip, which can make us uncomfortable.

I know this decision looks like to kill me, but I have no choice.

I really hope that this is the fifth and the last time I have a crush on a girl.

End of the Examination

Sometimes we ask: "Why I must faced this heavy test?" And God reply: "On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater Than it can bear." (Surah al-Baqarah, 2 : Verse 286)

Last Day of Examination

Today, 24th October 2008, was officially last day of the examination for science-stream students. For art-stream students, they finished their exam yesterday.

The bell rang exactly on 12.00 p.m. Everybody burst into joy and excitement. For them (and me), they feel like successfully escape from a dreadful Hell.

Honestly, I felt that this exam is very stressful to me. I never feel this kind of stress in my life before. Now, I know how stressful SPM is.

Now, I cannot play-play anymore. Time to be more serious.

Chinese Chess

Since today is the last day of the examination, so some of us brought Chinese chess to school. The people I know who bring the chess were Kelvin Ting and Roland Teo.

When I arrived this morning at my class, I saw Roland played with Su Xing Min. While Kelvin played with someone (I forgot already who is that person).

At first, I didn't feel anxious to play it. But, as time passing, I felt very anxious to play Chinese chess. So I ask Kelvin Ting and Qamarul to teach me.

Believe me, Chinese chess is better than Western chess. I felt that now I'm addicted to Chinese chess game.

After Exam: Relax...?

Maybe for some of science-stream students, they can relax after exam. But for me (and some of my classmates), now it's not the exact time to relax.

We have to complete our Physics notes for extra Physics marks.

Thanks to my Physics teacher, Mr. Chong, now my time is 'filled' with 'beneficial' activities.

Two Days Left...

We always asking, and Quran already answered our questions. We ask, "Why must I being tested?", and Quran reply: "Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false." (Surah al-Ankabut, 29 : Verses 2 - 3)

Islamic Studies Examination Paper 1

I just revised Islamic Studies subject this morning. I did not revise it yesterday night because I had to revise my Malay Literature subject. I thought that I cannot answer most of the questions. And to my surprise, I answered most of them safely and happily. Even the questions regarding history of Islam.

For example, in Bahagian A, there was a question:

• Beliau mewajibkan rakyatnya menjadi tentera
• Menubuhkan Diwan Al-Jundi

14. Pernyataan di atas merujuk kepada
A. Khalifah Yazid bin Muawiyah
B. Khalifah Marwan bin Muhammad
C. Khalifah Abdul Malik bin Marwan
D. Khalifah Muawiyah bin Abi Sufian

And in the same part, I found this question:

32. Khalifah Abdul Malik bin Marwan telah mewajibkan rakyatnya menjadi tentera dan menubuhkan jabatan khas yang dikenali sebagai __________

What the heck? These were bonus questions.

Even for Bahagian B, I finally remember facts about certain important figures.

Soalan 4 (c)
Imam al-Ghazali adalah seorang tokoh Islam yang terkenal.

i. Jelaskan secara ringkas riwayat hidup beliau.

ii. Senaraikan dua bidang ilmu yang dikuasai oleh beliau.

Out of sudden, I remembered back what I have discussed with Qamarul and Amir few minutes before sitting for the exam.

I also found this type of question.

19. Makam Rasulullah S.A.W. terletak di
A. Masjid Nabawi di Madinatul Munawwarah
B. Masjidil Aqsa di Makkatul Mukarramah [What the heck?]
C. Masjidil Haram di Makkatul Mukarramah
D. Masjid Quba' di Madinatul Munawwarah

Is Masjid al-Aqsa located in Makkah? Totally nonsense answer.

Memories

When we sat for English for Science and Technology (EST) examination Paper 1, I remembered back my first time in 4A. On that day, 31st March, 4A students were sitting for their last day of First Examination. And on that day, the first subject tested was EST. I (who was still newly-born there) had no other choice except to join them sitting for EST exam, since Mdm. Michelle (my Chemistry teacher) gave me the question paper.

So, I had to answer the paper in the condition of not fully-prepared.

And to my shock, I got 84% for EST that day. Mdm. Jennifer (my English and EST teacher) give 23 out of 30 for my essay. I really surprised that time. I just answer what I can write. And I did not write long, since my English is not very good compared to my classmates.

It is out of my expectation, actually.

Malay Literature Examination

Straight on 12.45 p.m when the bell rang, I quickly go to the staffroom. I had to sit for Kesusasteraan Melayu (Malay Literature) exam. But, I ask permission from Mdm. Halipah to have my lunch first before that. So I had my lunch outside the surau, eating Jacob's crackers while reading my Bacalah Dalam Bahasamu Jilid A and Novel Restu reference books (with 'that girl' passing by when I busy last-minit-revising, arghh).

So, at 1.00 p.m, I sat at Mdm. Halipah's place, answering my examination. The first question I encountered was:

Soalan 1

Pisau raut hilang di rimba,
Pakaian anak raja di Juddah;
Karam di laut boleh ditimba,
Karam di hati bilakah sudah.

(a) Nyatakan jenis puisi di atas. [1 markah]

(b) Nyatakan tiga ciri puisi di atas. [3 markah]

When I encountered the third question, I started felt gelabah.

3. Namakan watak utama dalam cerpen di bawah ini:
(a) Mereka Tidak Mengerti
(b) Cerita Dari Sebuah Taman
(c) Rimbaku, Air Mataku
(d) Pawana

And the next question supposed to be bonus for me.

Soalan 4

Diri
jika ia berdiri : tegak
jika ia duduk : bongkok
bagai patung mainan anak-anak

(Dipetik daripada sajak Diri oleh Nor Aini Muhammad
dalam Bacalah Dalam Bahasamu Jilid A)

(a) Apakah maksud simile? [2 markah]

(b) Berikan satu contoh simile dalam petikan di atas. [2 markah]

In other word, I face some difficulties in asnwering the question because of lack of sufficient revision.

Stress and Motivational Support

"O ye who believe! If ye will aid (the cause of) Allah, He will aid you, and plant your feet firmly." [Surah Muhammad, 47 : Verse 7]

Today's Exam

All praise to God, this morning's Physics Paper 3 was quite easy (because no designing experiment question). But for Additional Mathematics, I maybe lost several marks for not answering them completely and miscalculation. Since I always write slower than the others, so that's will happen. I really really regretted because didn't practice Additional Mathematics question.

The same thing went for Tasawwur Islam Paper 1. Although it's one of my favourite subjects, I actually did not have any idea on questions regarding the Constitution of Madinah (Sahifah Madinah). Well, I don't really remember things related to history.

[That's a very lame reason, Lukhman...]

Motivational Supports from My Friend

To be honest, I felt like I lost my hope to my next papers. But, when I remembering back what my online friend said to me (I had a chat with her previously) and my promise to God, to Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.), to her and to myself, I can't give up now. Furthermore, Azlan Nuraqmal, my friend kept tawakkal (let God to determine our fate after put our effort onto something) to God. Besides, there's still got Add Maths paper 1 and Tasawwur Islam paper 2.

Thanks to all of you.

Arghh... tomorrow is Kesusasteraan Melayu. I have to sit in the staff room for 2 hours!!!

[Who ask you to take Kesusasteraan Melayu, Lukhman... ?]

Sakit Hati...
During Tasawwur Islam Paper 1 Exam, I felt very very very sakit hati. You know why?

First, Ustaz gave guidelines to answer the questions to the others (after being the first to finish the paper), while I have to answer it by my own.

Second, when I want to recite Quran silently and in peace, (after be the first person to finish answering the paper) Ustaz recite loudly Quranic verses that he already memorised (including The Sun Chapter, Yaasin Chapter), distracting my recitation, until I can't concentrate to my recitation.

Third, when he realized I did not write my father name inside my name, he called me and talked to me in Arabic. (sometimes he ask, am I anak haram) So annoying. Luckily I understand.

I know maybe he just joking, but did he consider other people's feeling?

I felt very lazy to debate with him, because I know I will lose to him, since he previously took courses to become lawyer.

Bunch of Problems, Reaching Its Climax

Today, I woke up later than usual. If previous three days I woke up at 4 a.m, today I woke up at 5 a.m. Turning on my computer, I played the video of Sheikh Maahir's recitation during his turn to lead solat tahajjud at Sacred Mosque (Masjidil Haram). Automatically, my PC downloading the updates for my PC and suddenly, a pop-up came out, claiming that the Local Disk (:C) is full. I have to get help from Disk Cleanup, and managed to get 7% of free space out of 18.0 GB.

Physics Paper 1 and Paper 2 (Combined)
I put all my effort to read my Success Physics SPM book from yesterday's evening. From sitting in front of my PC while listening to Sheikh Maahir's recitation, until sitting in the surau with the air-conditioner was turned on, I spent most of my time to read it reversely, from the last topic to the earliest topic.

And, at least, it brought a little bit benefit to me. There's one subjective question, asking us to draw a ray diagram to show the image form on a concave mirror when the distance of the object from the pole is less than the principle focus.

But, as usual, I faced difficulties to answer, well, maybe most of the questions, not like Roland, KJ, KT and Amir.

Let's let it to God's hand to determine it.

Explosion, Principle of Conservation of Momentum and Firecrackers
According to the law of momentum, explosion is an isolated system which does not involve any external force - that is, the total momentum is conserved in an explosion. The formula for explosion is:And today was the last day of PMR. You knowlah, when the exam is finished, they happy. And to show their happiness, they did it in Josephian style. Throwing firecrackers while the others are sitting for the end-of-year exam. And that action did not help me a lot in answering Physics. What the heck?

Tiada Batasan

Sama seperti semalam, hari ini saya stayback di sekolah bersama Azlan Nurqamal, Mohd. Haziq dan Jabbar. Kami mengulangkaji pelajaran Sejarah, waaupun kebanyakan masa kami bercakap-cakap kosong. Mula-mula kami belajar di perpustakaan kerana di surau sesak dengan calon-calon PMR yang pastinya 'mengulangkaji dengan mulut' untuk kertas yang seterusnya. Pada pukul 3, kami bertiga menuju ke surau yang telah kosong.

Setelah menunaikan solat asar, kami bertiga duduk di wakaf kecil berdekatan pintu masuk utama ke SMK St. Joseph. Setelah berbual-bual, tepat pukul 4, saya meninggalkan mereka untuk kembali ke rumah. Dari wakaf tersebut, saya terlihat Brother Albinus yang berada di hadapan Blok Mill Hill, melihat saya yang sedang dalam perjalanan balik ke rumah. Di situ, kami berbual-bual.

Mula-mula, beliau bertanya tentang apa yang saya lakukan di sekolah. Saya menjawab bahawa saya bersama dengan rakan-rakan saya mengulangkaji di surau. Beliau kelihatan tidak setuju kerana beliau tahu kami terpaksa duduk di atas lantai di dalam surau tanpa kerusi dan meja. Malas untuk berdebat, saya memberitahunya kami mengadakan soal jawab tentang kertas yang bakal kami duduki esok. Kelihatannya beliau tidak begitu membantah.

Beliau merungut kepada saya bahawa kelas tingkatan dua di bahagian sayap kiri blok Mill Hill begitu bising. "The students talking and making noise, and the teacher also talking." Begitulah antara apa yang beliau katakan kepada saya.

Saya cuba menjelaskan kepadanya (dalam bahasa Inggeris, kerana beliau orang Poland) bahawa sikap pelajar sekarang ini sudah berubah dan begitu teruk. Tiada rasa hormat kepada cikgu, Semuanya disebabkan pergaulan yang tanpa panduan dan tiada batasan.

Sekarang, orang bukan Malaysia sendiri merungut tentang sikap generasi muda kita. Takkan kita nak berdiam diri?

Preparations for Exams

Tomorrow is October 14th 2008. The End-of-Year Examination for Form 4 will start tomorrow, and the PMR candidates will have their second day of PMR tomorrow.

And yet, I haven't do so much preparation for this coming examination.

I just realized that what I'm doing is really breaking my vow in my last post. I promised to myself that I can't be playful anymore. I need to show my commitment be serious. But now, it's looks like I'm going to break my promise. What kind of human am I?